I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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