ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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