Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
