watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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