OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
