AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
