ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
