the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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