Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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