South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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