Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
