At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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