She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I AM VODKA MAN
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
