just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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