I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
