I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
