the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
