Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
