A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
