Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
