Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Can I color on your dick again?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
