What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
