I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
