Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
