And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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