...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
