I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
