Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
