I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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