Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
