i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
