Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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