I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
