who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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