he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
