too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
