My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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