Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
