She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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