How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
50% drunk capacity currently
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
