Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
