just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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