shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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