I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
