Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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