she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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