I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize