even my farts smell like vagina
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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