There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
