i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
