Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
