he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
