this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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