oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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