i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They have beer where we have blood.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
