You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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