i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize