Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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