I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
