The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
