Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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