im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
