the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
