i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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