i permit you to call me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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