I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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