i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Your penis caused this!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
