go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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