dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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