i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
