hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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